J

A couple of months ago, T and I went to an open day on polyamory, which is essentially what we do. Ethical non-monogamy.

I can't even begin to describe how lovely it was. It was reassuring to see all the weirdos I was expecting were there. It was even more reassuring to see all the normal people (like us?) there too. It made me so happy to see that T and I weren't totally alone out there, seeking new experiences together and opening our hearts and lives to others. It has really brought home how tribal humans really are, and how much we thrive when we associate with people who live the same way we do. What better community to be a part of, than one that is automatically accepting of:

1) The people involved are the ones who decide how the relationship goes
2) That you are free to make your own choices
3) That you and your partners can help each other live fuller lives
4) That you live in a way that most other people don't.

There were workshops on tantra, polyamory in academia, troubleshooting, how-to sessions and introductions for those new to poly. We rounded off the day with a discussion on poly parenting, led by More than Nuclear, who is an amazingly articulate woman who discusses aspects of her poly life on her blog. Do check it out.

After that, we all went out for dinner. T had met some groovy guys and gals that he wanted to dine with, as had I, so we parted ways for the time being. I went out to dinner with a most excellent bunch of people, one of which was J.

J is a scientist who was in a new relationship with J2 (who is a lovely excellent winner type of lady). He struck me as funny, but also a little dangerous, and seemed to like to make a point by ever so slightly putting J2 down, or making fun of her. I found that a slightly strange dynamic. We chatted a lot over dinner, and I could feel him becoming interested in me. The whole table was very engaged and engaging, and I had a lovely dinner. That's also where I met G2, but more on him later.

After dinner, we all went back to the hall for the final festivities and booze drinking. I remember quite clearly putting my arm around J and saying what a lovely time I'd had. He agreed. We had both come to polyamory that year and I could feel that we were both still slightly in shock that we'd managed to find something so simple, yet so extraordinarily empowering. It's still a bit of a shock that this is my wonderful life.

Anyway, a couple of months have passed since then and we've recently got back in touch after a short break. We're meeting up on Tuesday for dinner and drinks and I guess we're going to see how it goes! Again, he's quite a bit older than me (ten years maybe?) but I do like that. He's already asked me to spend the night with him in Cambridge where he lives, but I declined for the time being. I know what will happen if I did stay over and I'm not sure I want to keep going down that path straight away. It makes it awfully hard to come back from that place. There is a lesson there re boundaries though!!

I am excited to see him, I hope it goes well. I am also looking forward to going to Cambridge eventually, and having him show me the sights....