Wednesday

T and I are back on an even keel after what was a slightly rocky week or two. Back to enjoying each other, which is a relief.

We went to the cinema last night and I looked at his face, lit up by the screen. It is so familiar to me, almost more so than my own. It's home, and I've been reminded of that a lot recently. He still makes me laugh, laugh until I choke and there's something to be said for that. Indeed there is.

M is still away, and we're not in touch very much. In a way it's a blessing because I've been able to move through the horrible part of him being away and now the ache that I feel when I think of him is vaguely pleasurable, and recalling past escapades with him makes me weak at the knees and brings a smile to my face. I am fairly sure we'll see each other again when he's back, but am now at the point where it doesn't seem so vital.

I reprimanded myself for missing him, because in one way I should just accept it for what it is now. But I realised that I miss him because I genuinely like him on a friend level too, and just when we were getting to know each other he left. Oh well. Hopefully we can pick up where we left off.